I heard you applied for a job as the Pope (and was declined without even an interview). What changes would you make to the Catholic Church if you did get the job?
- No more fancy outfits, everyone should be plainly clothed.
- No more religious rituals except communion and water baptism.
- Sermons have to be practical, helpful, about everyday issues that people face. They should be spoken in plain, easy to understand local-language.
- No more idols, no more saints, no more “this is a Holy scarf that St. John Smith wore when he had dinner with Mary, let’s worship the scarf.”
- Excommunicate those who don’t regularly attend church.
- The Pope should confess that he’s just a man like everyone else and has no special powers or authority
- Priests have to declare that every single believer has the same rights, power, and privilege as they do.
- Make it clear that believers have serious responsibilities as out lined by Jesus in the Holy Bible.
Sorry there’s too much to list, but these things would drastically improve the state of the Catholic church.
What life truth have you learned the HARD way?
The bible says to never “cast pearl unto swine.” Which is a topic that can be talked about for years, but basically means that you shouldn’t waste time and other resources on people who don’t deserve it. I’ve invested in a lot of great people, but I’ve invested way too much into bad people as well. Be careful of who you let into your life, into your circles of influence, into your heart. A pig wearing pearls is still a pig.
What were you like in high school?
I was known in some circles as a super nerd, in other circles as the laid back cool guy, and others thought of me as shady.
Shady?
I grew up in Malton, and if you want to survive in Malton, you have to learn to take care of yourself by any means necessary. In high school there was this kid who towered over everyone, and wasn’t very nice about it. He would harass people, including me, during class. He was super gangster at school. So one day he had bullied someone, and I had had enough. I followed him home to see where he lived, and then came back later that night, to have a friendly and peaceful chat with him in front of his family. His mom answered the door, his dad was a few feet behind, and the kid was standing on the stairs, startled, wearing baby blue flannel pajamas. At school he was completely thugged-out, including saggy jeans that exposed his underwear and dirty language that would make Eminem blush. Well, let’s just say I had a good chat with him, and after that night, he never bothered me again.
Who in your life has influenced you the most? How did they do it?
My grandmother is the greatest influence in my life, mostly because she raised me, and partially because she kicked my ass everyday. She taught me that work comes before play, and that there’s nothing wrong with doing things differently.
How do you like your steak cooked?
Medium-rare, and I’d like a side of fried mushrooms, ketchup, and hot sauce please.
What’s one of the strangest things you’ve ever done?
There are so many things I can list here, but the one that sticks out in my mind is either buying slaves for the purpose of setting them free, or hiring prostitutes to attend church.
What kind of vacations do you like?
Country drives, visiting small towns, tv / movie marathons, long walks, just sitting down on the floor enjoying silence. These are all good vacations for me. You know when the power goes out and people start going crazy? I’m usually doing just fine 🙂
What are some of your major goals in life?
Since grade 9 I’ve been trying to run a 4 minute mile, and I haven’t come close. My times are pretty much getting worse. I don’t think I’ll ever achieve this, but I’ll keep trying like I want to. As soon as I can get a hold of horse steroids I’ll give it a good go.
What are some of your smaller goals in life?
Figure out how to do mail merge in my word processor.
If you could try out any job for a day, what would you like to try?
Short order cook, mailman, teacher, lawn-care.
